Enthusiastic seating arrangements
An undersized dining room with too many chairs around a table already fully occupied by all those unique Christmas ornaments and trinkets.
All the blokes standing around the barbecue at lunchtime, not one is drinking beer.
Watching the eldest child disregard all his own presents and spend a large part of the day playing with a gift for a junior sibling.
The packs of zombie-like suburbanites attempting to burn off the extra 15000 calories they’ve each ingested by waddling around the block at sunset.
If I started exercising now, I’d have exercised away yesterday’s breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon by about Easter.
Sorting the wrapping paper and cardboard from plastic for recycling.
I see now how Richard Pratt could become the third richest man in this country.
The debrief in the car on the way home from the family Christmas dinner.
If you have to spend Christmas with them you might as well get the good gossip. The day’s events are distilled into a beverage you’d hardly label Christmas Spirit:
Who’s put on weight
Whose career has stalled
Whose parenting isn’t up to scratch
Who gave the most inappropriate gifts
Whose kids misbehaved most
Who ate more than their share
Who raised what taboo subjects
Who was late
Who drank too much etc etc.
Having over catered to such an extent that even the keenest of hosts will fall ill from dining on ham and coleslaw for the next five days.
The shop trading crisis– you’d think it was a holocaust or something.
We’ve become so lazy and disorganised that we’ve become incapable of planning our shopping needs for more that a day at a time. The local quickie mart is overflowing with desperate shoppers needing those few essential items like bread, softdrinks and milk.
The quiet streets – no trucks, no mums shuttling kids, no shoppers and no peak hour.
The same old formulated news presentations covering Christmas Trading, charity concerts, what people will be doing and anecdotal stories on leaving things too late and spending too much.
Some stuff that I Got
You can make your own assumptions about my character/taste by the DVDs I scored:
BBCs Seven Wonders of the Industrial World
Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
The messages are just as mixed with the literature I scored too:
The Coroner, Derrick Hand
The Taking, Deen Koontz
The Golfer’s Guide to Happiness, Joe Kohl
Some stuff the Grindlings got
Magnetic sticks & balls (keep away from credit cards)
A fire truck that unfolds into an entire suburb
About half of the current top 10 CDs
A learning station laptop
A slinky that lasted 30 minutes before being kinked
Well that’s how I saw it anyway.