Saturday, July 31

A troubled site?

I have returned from the darkside and found a blog that seems to miss the point of posting on the internet.

"You must request approval to access permalink, commenting and pinging functions."

and

"Full access to this weblog requires a one-time-only registration as a reader. Following registration, your access to restricted content, comments and trackback becomes seamless. It's your choice, not my requirement."

Not a requirement. WTF?!?

"This content is only available to people who are known and trusted explicitly."

What a moonbat.

Linked

The Currency Lad blogs in a league of his own and is already making a name for himself. Go say hello but make sure you come back to the Grinder's relaxing sanctuary before your head gets too full.

Friday, July 30

Seeking inner peace

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you'vestarted.

So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished .... and before coming to work this morning I have finished off a
bottle of Bacardi, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Jim Beam, my Prozac, some
valium, a small box of chocolates and 2 litres of FostersLager, a 1/2 can of
cider, a large reefer and some cheese.

Ypou hvae no ideaa how bolody
gerat I fleel rgiht aobuut now....You Myaywnat to psass tihs on to aynmoe yoiu
feeel isin needof smome InenPoeace"

Wednesday, July 28

Bizarre

There’s a thread of discussion here that is scary. 

Quick draw justice has the gun nuts getting excited.  This story demonstrates why people shouldn’t carry weapons, yet it is being heralded as a fair cop by those who obviously support the right to bear arms.

Last time I looked, the death penalty didn’t apply here in Oz.

Alarmed, not alert.

Travelling with young kids is a testing exercise designed to make the daily grind seem relatively painless, hence the value in family (non) holidays.

Imagine little Johnny, bored out of his brain, cooped up with a couple of hundred people in theatre-like seating, the narrowest of aisles, a few strange toilets and nowhere to go until the plane lands.  The Bob the Builder cassette tape was long ago rendered useless due to flat batteries in the old family walkman.

It’s not long before boredom incites destructive or annoying behaviour as little Johnny finds alternate ways to amuse himself.   Running up and down the aisles, adjusting the seats, pestering little brother, you get the drift.

A resourceful parent (who probably should have prepared something but was too busy mismanaging other matters) reaches for pencil and something to write on.  Little Johny is then given the task of doing some writing. 

For a few moments all is quiet and still (except for that idiot sitting behind who’s tapping your seat with his foot to the beat of whatever is playing in their headphones). 

Before too long, the kid dismisses the task at hand and goes to have another play in the funny toilet room.

Two hours later your plane is back in Sydney and you are evacuated from the tarmac.
Why?  There was a Bob Threat!

 Alarmed not alert? Take a chill pill guys. 

Saturday, July 24

Alert! Alert!

Tim T knows too much about life in the public circus.  Quick, someone give him a job and close down his site.

Blogging anomaly

It has been a week since logging on to the Grinder’s sheltered workshop/blog page.  A quick check to see the statistical damage of such neglect reveals something a little irregular – increased patronage.

As an explanation, it is suspected that the type of visitor to GrinderCom is as neurotic and impatient as the Grinder when cruising his favourite blogs. 

Thinking ‘They must have posted something by now’ as revisiting becomes an obsession rewarded only by the disappointment of an unaltered blog. Bill Whittle’s Ejectx3 certainly supports this notion.  Mustafa’s Killing for peace must be topping the charts if that’s the case.

Forgery

Unlike Paul, I’m not fooled by this photoshopped effort. Everyone should know a spider is not dead unless its either pulped or all its limbs have curled up.

Tex is back

I’ve been watching this space on and off for about two years.  Chris has gone through a few different stages and until recently was about to be chopped from this blogroll. Fortunately he’s back and posting the sort of stuff that made me interested in blogging in the first place.

From Sasha Castel

Read the text at the er.. bottom.

Sunday, July 18

Cured?

It was nearly two years ago a culmination of circumstances drove the Grinder to seek the soothing properties of blogging.  Posting thoughts, whinges and bleats on the internet to an unknown audience has been good therapy and educational.
 
Today there is no toe-crusher in my workplace, no daily grind to the city centre on public transport, and no stagnated career path.
 
Now that these have been cleared, other gripes have reduced also:

  • People who use the lift to get off at the first floor
  • Drivers who cut in and weave ahead through traffic
  • and ...  I’ll err get back to this list later.
     

There are however a few that remain:

  • Leftwing agendas disguised as school curriculum
  • Senseless reactionary politics that rely on destruction of liberty as a cure-all
  • Drivers who cut in and slow down
  • Laws and judgements that place the life of a police officer or newsagent beneath the welfare of a dolphin.
  • Religious extremists.
  • The ‘Pop’ press.
  • Aw, bugger, and all that other stuff that the allied blogs go on about

 Okay so maybe I’m not cured and there is still plenty left to complain about.

Friday, July 16

Weekend goals

  • Purchase a cheap digital camera (with family in tow just to make it a real challenge)
  • Make another attempt at visiting grandparent (selfish git went and checked into hospital again didn’t he)
  • Stay warm and dry, (which conflicts with the dire need to tend the $300 veggie patch)
  • Keeping psychological threats to the kids to less than one each per day.
  • Find something more interesting to post than a poxy list.
 

Thursday, July 15

Recent search queries

Brought to you by creepy google patrons

* masochistic girl
* biodegradable bags for McDonald's
* testicle grinder
* ethical dilemma - dressing up - children
* strap-on studded video


and the sickest one of all

* ethical monism

SA Justice

Paul...fckn fck fk ...dug.... sht sh sht....up this ...fck ff ffk .... treasure.
The courts are supposed to reflect general community standards. Scary!

Ready, set, blog.

Mrs G is off to the gym, grindlings tucked in bed and I’ve got my blogging outfit on (anything with an elasticised waistband will do).


There is of course the small matter of doing this year’s tax, but the prospects of winding down the books for the defunct business interest are too ugly to tackle alone.

Wednesday, July 14

Vet fees

GrinderCom's antivirus subscription is due shortly. I know there are freebies out there but $42.90 seems okay, yes?

A sad day for SA

Prime Minister John Howard has backed off his plans to establish a nuclear waste facility in South Australia’s outback.

Following a successful appeal by the state government and Howard’s bout of nervousness with the pending federal election, Premier Mike Rann has claimed of victory for common sense.

COMMON SENSE!?! How dumb is the South Australian electorate? Nuclear scientist spent fifteen years finding the ideal site for nuclear waste and now we’re going to blow it off shore.

This was a fantastic opportunity for SA. Now gone. What a selfish act, the “not in my backyard” mentality is so short sighted.

Tuesday, July 13

Meanwhile

Jericho has a fresh round up. (Yes this just a lame excuse to attach a strange image to his name)

New comment provider

Out with Enation and in with Haloscan.

Monday, July 12

Filler

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll right down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

(Give this some thought before you answer)







Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list.


Why do I feel disappointed that I didn’t get the right answer?

Sunday, July 11

Crap

In the spirit of a poor tradesman blaming his tools, comes the following announcement from the Grinder.

For an ISP, Dodo is Doo Doo.

The quality of service today has been inadequate, even for this amateur.

Idealistic at their own expense

I don’t actually see what this guy’s problem is. As a general rule, if it looks like and smells like, it probably is.

While under the care of my parents I could afford to make choices based on simplistic ideals like the environment. Unfortunately reality caught up with me and I have real responsibly. Sending in job applications on double-sided recycled paper just doesn't cut it. Nor does blindly following the do-gooder wannabees who dis development, industry and patriotism.

Evils such as MacDonalds turn out to be convenient places to eat with family. Big cars that guzzle petrol seem safer and better value for money than clapped out smokey 4 cylinders. A few hours a month tending the front lawn is therapeutic and indicative of someone who respects his neighbours.

Unlike the lyrics of “I'm an asshole” I don't piss on the seat of this planet as if it were my exclusive toilet. In fact I make purchase decisions based on the merit or impact of a company. I take time to learn about what recycling schemes actually do something worthwhile and then take the time to patronise them.

Make yourself appear worthwhile and people might listen. Like it or not, long hair, rebellious clothing and disrespect of social convention might float one's boat, but being unconventional wont win much support by its own definition.

Miserable weather

Too much time indoors with Grindlings 1 & 2 is taking its toll. I doubt not I’m the only parent who craves returning to work midway through the weekend while questioning one’s own sanity at such at thought at the same time.

Weekend breakfasts are just protracted versions of their weekday counterparts. Demands for second and third courses, swapping from toast to cereal to toast with alternating condiments is not uncommon.

Eating one’s own meal before the commotion is impossible, the little darlings have super-sensitive hearing enabling them to rise the moment a parent set’s foot in the kitchen.

Of course eating your own meal while the little darlings enjoy their morning banquet is permitted, providing you had no intention of eating while sitting down. Also the sequencing of courses ensures there is just enough time to add your own milk or set the toast down on a plate before being summonsed for more.


Grindling #2 is in the throws of learning about dialogue. Presently he is in the acknowledgement stage. The equation goes something like this:

< Open broadcast; level=‘excitable’; pitch=‘drilling’; repeat=‘yes’>“Its raining!”< / a >

Until sufficient response is obtained from a parental authority the ‘repeat’ parameter in this function is capable of approaching infinity. I have tested this by hiding in the bedroom and reading the paper.

When their mother is home the activity routine runs something like this:

10 Generate Random Thought (integer 1 to 10)
; comment
Integers 1 to 10 replicate the following thoughts
1 = want drink
2 = want food
3 = want stimulation
4 = discovered new use for crayon/texta/
5 = found interesting hazardous object
6 = found vulnerable item of some value to parent
7 = filled nappy
8 = am bored with thoughts 4,5,6
9 = unable to generate further thoughts
10= not happy with rival sibling due to jealousy/disagreement/injury;


20 If random thought <4 Goto ‘Seek Mummy’ Routine
30 If random thought >3 & <8 Goto ‘Suspiciously quiet for 5 minutes’ Routine
40 If random thought >7 Goto ‘Call Mummy’ Routine.

When their father is in charge the routine works like this:

10 Generate random thought
20 Proceed with thought
30 Goto 10

On the other hand

Grindling #2 was looking at a photograph this morning

Mrs G: That’s your nana.
G2: I like my mummy.
Mrs G: Why do you like your mummy?
G2: I need a mummy.
Mrs G: Why do you need a mummy?
G2: Because I’ll be lost.

Weekend spree

Returning home from an unsuccessful shopping vigil yesterday morning, the Grinder family spontaneously purchased a trailer on the side of the road.

Bearing a price tag of $80 the trailer proved itself a big enough drawcard to initiate a patented 5-point turn (Magna owners will understand this) to inspect the goods more closely.

Discarded toys, food scraps, used tissues and other family detritus was flung sideways as the Grinder snapped out a shopping-with-family induced coma and was hot on the trail of a real bargain.

Having no lights, no registration and no history proved to be satisfactory criteria to proceed with the sale. The imperial sized tow ball was attached and the latest acquisition to the Grinder workshop was towed home at low speed due to the seriously out of round cross-ply retreaded tyres.

The ‘new’ trailer now sits proudly in the backyard awaiting some long awaited TLC.

Friday, July 9

Blogger sux

Tonight's session has been cut short by booger's inadequacy.

Virtual employment

Friday night and its time to ... blog. Though the continual interruptions of Mrs G are destroying what little threads of thought I have left after a busy week. I vaguely recall promising myself that I would not get upset about such disruptions. Unfortunately at this particular time I cannot recall why I would have made such a stupid promise.

Anyway, The Grinder Household can now add Tim T to the feel-good-because-we-sponsor-him shelf next Mrs G’s picture of Ali Mohammad, the World Vision kid that appears on my visa statement each month.

Wednesday, July 7

Too cold

Too cold to blog. Time will be spent instead watching last night's return of The Soprano's with a tumbler or two of cheap local port.

Sunday, July 4

Burden of proof

Guilty beyond a reasonable doubt
- $10,000.

Convincing a Judge you needed time to pay
- 3 months

Using the post hearing press conference to give publicity to your $500,000 relaunch
- Priceless.
HEAVEN nightclub and its manager say they need more time to pay a $10,000 Licensing Court fine and at the same time have announced a $500,000 "relaunch".

And this has been on the Heaven website for all to see:
Over the past month Heaven has spent over a million dollars up grading its production, the results of which have been launched as of the 30.06.04. Expect the most incredible club light, laser and sound extravaganza, the likes of which are unrivalled anywhere else in Australia. Every week we will have 5 massive laser systems in action built specifically for Heaven by Australia’s number one laser experts. The sound system has been doubled in size to give the ultimate in sound quality, amongst a host of other changes.


What shite. Defence lawyers should be required to substanciate their pre-sentancing fables and prosecution allowed the opportunity to scrutinise them.

Please leave the lights off

A toilet with the mirrors on the outside.
Performance pressure or performance art, whats the difference
Oh and beware of teenagers using the mirrors while going about your business.

May peace be with you

Too big for Blogspot, this site is worth the wait and will soon finds its way on the Grinder’s list of favourites. Welcome Mustafa.