Friday, April 30

For the boys

This trick from my mate Mike. Hidden within the standard blog format (ie catchy title, humourous observation with a link to interesting site and closure with a witty one-liner).

Don't mess with mother nature,

she likes it that way.

It's Friday night

As if I'd be on the net tonight, what kind of loser do you think I, er hold on, gotta go.

Thursday, April 29

Just because I like the name

Training update

Since January 5th the Grinder's new employer has shown how much it values it's new employees by subjecting them to 6 months of training.

Today Psychosocial Hazards took the stage in the training room from hell. Of course only one side of the story was provided. Thankfully Google gives a better picture of who has an interest in workplace psychosocial hazards; the unions, the academics, industry and government.
Today’s teachings will be taken under advisement. No more, no less.

Wednesday, April 28

Fact checking

The best way to see if something is accurate? Post it and let someone else check it on snopes (I was about to put in a comment alluding to the hoax, but was beaten to it).

From AcidMan

Nominee No. 9, The Winner!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the testicle. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.

English night out

Last night a few of us newbies arranged a contemporary English night out. The poms amongst us were feeling homesick and needed real therapy. We started at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow for a few pints (and that’s not pussy Australian pints either). My new beer of choice is now Tetley. At $8 a pop the family GP will be happy to know moderate consumption is likely.

Because we’re midway through ‘Hazard Identification and Risk Analysis’ training, the simulated midnight curry was brought forward to a 9PM sitting.

Ma & Pa Grinder were never interested in Indian cuisine and hence the Grinder is a little embarrassed to admit never giving the curries a real go (Villi’s curry pie hardly qualifies). I am now a convert. Lamb, chicken, beef – even vegetables and lentils; all was good.

Sadly the prohibitive costs of catching a taxi home ensured that one’s own motor was the only option. So the Grinder called it a night while the remaining members headed to the Belgium Beer Café.

For some, not surprisingly, today was a looong day in training in the training room from hell.

I wish I had the answers

Does the term ‘Standard operating procedure’ come to mind when reading about this alarming trend?
'Sourced' from Paul who has another way of putting it.

Tuesday, April 27

Its a tie

I'm not sure what "Skin this site" means, but it looks like it was a draw between yours truly and some guy named Paul.

Bill for a cause.

PAYG protesters Donations anyone?

Perhaps the Australian Government could look at a similar policy.

Locked up for a cause

When it comes to the training experiences, this man puts it so well.

Monday, April 26

Plastic Shopping Bags

Here are a few things you may not have heard about the plastic bag non-debate.

Plastic Shopping Bags – Analysis of Levies and Environmental Impacts
Published by the Department of the Environment and Heritage


We currently pay a factored cost of about $10 PA for the convenience of plastic bags.

The sale of bin liners increased by 77% in Ireland when a levy was introduced.

For a four person family this amounts to an increase in household costs of $56 per year.

Theft increased when shoppers shifted to using their own bags.

The total weight of plastic shopping bags used is not that significant when compared to, total household waste (0.7%), and total plastics consumption (2.5%).

An estimated 60% of bags with an ‘at home’ destination cascade to a second use before landfill disposal.

Plastic shopping bags appear to make up to approximately 2% of the Australian litter stream by item. Their light weight is the cause for high levels of inadvertent littering. This impact results from only a small percentage of bags being littered.

Most bags end up in landfill, where their volume and environmental impacts are minimal.

The environmental assessment showed less significant and consistent gains are made by switching from HDPE to other single use bags, such as paper and biodegradable bags, with potential gains in litter being offset by negative resource use outcomes.

A quantitative assessment of environmental impacts on alternative shopping bag options showed there is potential to significantly reduce impacts in resource and energy consumption and in littering.

The existing data on litter would need to be improved in order for performance related targets to be reliably measured.

The reasons the government will pursue this:
The introduction of a levy is likely to have a strong degree of public support if it is seen to be effectively achieving its stated environmental goals.

A levy set at 15 cents a bag on all retail bags resulting in a 75% bag reduction would generate around $300 million.

Sunday, April 25

Shhh!

Don’t tell the terrorists or we’ll have to regulate this commodity as well.

Subservient Chicken

Okay the cynics win. It appears this list is part of the workings of the wondrous chook.
There's also this list of tried and tested commands.

The Garage Sale

The weeks of preparation have paid off. Out the front now are the remains of the unloved bric-a-brac awaiting Thursday’s hard-rubbish collection and inside, Mrs Grinder’s purse is around $200 of loose change.

About an hour before the advertised start time the rush started. You can pick the pros by the way they pull up. There’s the distinct buzz of over-revved engines as the cars pull up to the curb and park across the driveway. The doors open as the ignition is cut and they jump out wearing the finest acidwash, wash-n-wear, white sneakers and bumbags.

The pros haggle aggressively, pick fault and manage to pilfer all that is of real value within the first fifteen minutes. It takes another quarter of an hour before you feel that you were violated in some kind of way.

The other interesting species is the compulsive hoarder. They appear scruffy and unable to rub two cents together. They are polite, interested in the history of what they buy and generally choose several of the items you never believed would sell. They leave with an armful of goodies in a car that is already stacked with other treasures.

Of the more amusing things that sold were; 6 used business shirts ($2 ea), an old stapler (50 cents), a rusty golf caddy ($2), and a stained umbrella ($2).

Some of the items that didn’t sell; 64kb electronic organiser ($10), entertainment unit ($15), a knitting machine, and wedding shoes (worn once).

Come around my place for a Barbie

I must admit to not checking this story on Snopes. Though some questions do come to mind:
Would he cut off her hair first?
Do different coloured dolls come out in all the same colours?
Are they flushable or do they float?

Saturday, April 24

My cunning stunt

By demonstrating incredible wit on more popular sites I'll lure curious onlookers to this slow-moving and incredibly ordinary site. Heh, heh, heh.

My place in the scheme of things

Rob Smith finds himself placed 66th with around 2200 visits a day (the highest was 115,000 a day). If GrinderCom were to have succeeded in getting Sitemeter to work when this blog was set up, It'd be placed about 2700th with a presecription of 3 per day.

Only in America?

Oh hold on, didn't the Tasmanians elect someone like this as senator?

Tuesday, April 20

Drive Through CEOs

Fast food and fast administration....

New CEO for McDonald's

MCDONALD'S today named Charlie Bell to take over as president and chief executive of the fast-food giant following the death of Jim Cantalupo earlier in the day.

The board also announced that Andrew McKenna, the board's presiding director, has been elected non-executive chairman of the board.
The moves came after Cantalupo died suddenly of an apparent heart attack.

"We can never replace Jim's brilliance or leadership, but we will honour him by continuing his passion for McDonald's.

Sunday, April 18

For those with Meg to spare

This is the funniest training video ever.

Kill Bill vol 1

Every now and then Mrs G pops down to the local video and does her best to borrow something mutually satisfying. The ‘mutual’ part is of course the challenging bit.

Although it is somewhat blatant that the movie is produced to sell in two parts, Quentin does a great job of entertaining the jaded movie watcher.

The variation in pace, style and even quality is effective. I tired of the fighting in some parts but managed to enjoy the subtle references to Uma Thurman’s previous role in Pulp Fiction.

I think I may have mentioned my appreciation of Quentin Tarantino’s work previously. Well guess what? If I have my way Kill Bill Vol 1 will joining be joining Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction and True Romance in the Grinder’s modest DVD collection.

Friday, April 16

This is way cool

Just look at the employment that the internet can generate.
As far as I have seen, it is live.

Tuesday, April 13

Powerful stuff

Check out some of the features built in to Google!

To see who links to a particular site, simply type 'link:URL' in the Google search field.

For example;
link:http://grindercom.blogspot.com/

Joke

I was emailed this joke today but have already deleted it. So here goes.

A married couple of some 30 years lived together happily in their humble abode. The relationship was loving and to most extents satisfactory.

There was however a continued issue of the husbands habit of setting one loose loudly and proudly under the covers each morning before rising for the day.
Her eyes would water, as she gasped for air and complained,
“Stop it! You’ll blow your guts out.”
He would simply say its healthy,
“Better out than in”.
This continued for years without variation.

One Thanksgiving morning the wife was up early preparing the turkey by removing the giblets. A thought crosses her mind about a way to give hubby a bit of a fright and she scoops up the entrails and takes them to the bedroom.

While trying not to wake him, she slides the gizzards down the back of her sleeping husband’s pants and returns to the kitchen.

A short while later she hears him stir, crack a ripper and then let out a blood curdling screen as he discovers the guts filling his pants. She sniggers to herself and like a good housewife begins to prepare his breakfast.

About ten minutes later he appears at the kitchen door looking rather pale and says,
“Honey, I’m sorry I never believed what you said about blowing my guts out but you were right. Fortunately with the help of some Vaseline and my fingers I managed to get them all back in.”

Parental progess

We took away Grindling #2’s dummy/pacifier cold turkey on Maundy Thursday night. (Sadly it was 5 years working at Liquor Licensing and not any sort of religious upbringing that taught me about the proper name for the Thursday before Easter).
Like any good parents we blamed the Easter Bunny for the theft and rewarded him with chocolate. There is something powerful and god-like about chocolate.

Geared up

The sound of a child whimpering from the other end of the house roused me from sleep at about midnight last night. I stuck my head out the door to see a bedroom light on and the usual paternal preparations whirred through my mind. Would it be: wet bed, vomit, nightmare, sleepwalking or something new?

There was Grinding #1 hunched over his bed fully dressed for school with tears streaming down his face.
Completely lost as what to do, he says “I got up a bit to early”.

A plug

I would like to thank the creators of a very handy little program that is doing a fine job of reducing the number typos despite the increasing pudginess (spell-check recognises such a word!) of my fingers.

I hate chocolate

In a love/hate kind of way. Once I start there is no control. I am in serious trouble at the moment - there would have to be at least 3 kilos of the stuff stashed in the wardrobe. I don’t joke when I say I find it addictive.

Easter was good. It is best summed up as ‘Too much food and too much family’.
But seriously it was good to touch base with family, enough until, say Christmas (hint to Mrs G before going ahead and arranging any more gatherings).

I am tired of the blogs. I am tired of television. I reckon I could almost be motivated to get up and go for a walk. Fortunately Mrs G has gone to the gym and there’s no other sucker to look after the grindlings.

I’d like to switch on some tunes but the lounge room is in serious disarray. There is only one decent wall without an archway or window in it. This has stifled all efforts so far to have a couch arrangement that directly faces the tv.

Then there’s my other problem – hi-fi addiction. The dream lives on despite having only the remotest of chance of ever enjoying an action thriller with all five channels cranked up ever again. I also enjoy having the tv perched at a height such that I can slouch on the couch and comfortably look across and up to the screen without having to accentuate the folds in my neck.

The end of training is nigh. This is good, right? Well it would be if I were up to date with all the assignments, activities and e-learning modules.

The garden is now sprouting a good variety of seedlings. I am beginning to suspect that the cabbages were a bad idea. They attract so many bugs its ridiculous. It’s at the stage now that I have to dust them almost daily depending on how frequently they’re watered.

Tunes are now on. The hi-fi is running separately to the tv. This is fine until we want to use the vcr or dvd players. There’s a chance I may even unbolt the speakers from the cabinet and put them back on the stands I crafted from $100 of Bunnings miranti timber about eight years ago. It’s a judgement call though – just how likely is it that the kids will knock them over?

I have been allocated a work car for the next 4 weeks while a counterpart is on leave. It surprises me how badly people can treat a car. I can’t say whether its because it’s a work car or not because I don’t know how these people treat their own vehicles. I admit its only small things like never cleaning the inside of the windows, chewing through a pair of tyres in only 30,000 km, and never wiping the crumbs, body grease and cola from the console and armrests. Just add some urine or vomit stains and you may as well be riding on public transport.

Monday, April 5

Nothing good

There are too many horrific stories pouring through the media. This one is just sick(ness).

Not entirely accurate self assessment tool

The Grinder is somewhat insulted by the results of this quiz. I suspect they would vary from day to day.

I am the Natural Number
e

I go with the flow

_

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

A bit late, but they got me.

It is a complete disgrace that the passport and other details of any individual can be searched on this website.

Did they get you?

The following article is rated - WS Free - and is not suitable for people with a Wage or Salary

Inspired by some curious figures from ACA tonight, I took a little trip to the Centrelink website and strangely enough can’t find anything that supports the claim that a 14 year old single mum is able to claim $700 a fortnight.

Since taking on the task of being a parent, the Grinder has always reserved his opinions on young women electing a career path in sole parenting. Who would raise kids for an obligation free $464.20 a fortnight?

Oh hold on did they mention these goodies….

1. You can get an allowance for the rental costs of having a domestic telephone line (or mobile phone) connected in Australia.
2. Remote Area Allowance makes a contribution towards some of the costs that go with living in particularly remote areas.
3. If you are paying rent, and receiving a payment from Centrelink or the Family Assistance Office, you may be entitled to Rent Assistance
4. On top of your concession cards, you can get extra money to help pay for the cost of prescription medicines. This is called Pharmaceutical Allowance.

McCreepy

02_C500_026
There's more, go see.

Dohh!

Supreme Court Justice shows amazing insight .....

Sunday, April 4

Joke c/- Tim BLair

Q: If the Jews murdered Jesus, then who or what killed Jeebus?

A: Probably it was the Jubes.


What I find funnier is the product description "Should be free of mould, moisture and infestation"

Oh well, could have been worse…

19 December 1992
It’s Saturday night and do we guys know how to party. Brass cleaning, ironing, shower, laundry. It’s nearly 10pm lights out. A guy in the platoon was found in a pol of blood in the showers and latrine this morning. Apparently he said last night he didn’t want to be here.

7 January 1993
As I write a recruit is walking up and down the hall shouting “Flush, flush, I’m a shithouse” twice up and down the lines - punishment for leaving his dog tag chain out of his shirt. I copped the same thing this morning except I got to say “Choo, choo, I’m a train, Too-oo-ooh”

Believe it or not I think I might actually be cut out for the Army. You don’t have to think too much.

Another weekend gone

Friday night we locked the grandparents in with the kids and went to Glenelg for tea with friends and got home about midnight. Then a truly amazing thing happened on Saturday– the family slept until 10 AM.
The cabbage, parsnip, and strawberry seedlings have been transplanted. Watering system repaired, cars washed, creeper pruned.
All ready for another week.